worst parenting day ever.

This morning, I awoke to the words I have feared for more than five years:

"I have a loose tooth!"

Eva wasn't even addressing me; she spoke these words to Paul. AND YET, I was instantly awake, and could feel my eyes bugging out like a cartoon in panic, gripping Paul's arm with a kung-fu grip.

Eva spent today obsessed with her loose tooth. I spent the day trying to be a supportive parent, all the while wanting to run around shaking my hands and projectile vomiting.

I hate teeth.

sneakyness.

Want to know what makes for a tense trip to Orlando?

NO PLANS TO GO TO A DISNEY THEME PARK.

Because everyone - EVERYONE - will ask about Disney when you tell them you are going to Orlando.

The sneaky parent's solution?

Downtown Disney.

It is free. There are limited rides. The merch is generally within stores (rather than draped all over the park).

AND, there's the Mr. Potato Head store. Where Charlie and I spent most of our time.

Instead of making our own light sabers, though, Charlie chose to spend time riding dinosaurs.

And then we rode the train for a bit. Note the pacifier. It was a rough day.

Meanwhile, Uncle Mike and Tia Jessica let the girls pick out a very special toy from the Disney Store. Eva bullied Mike into buying her a stuffed Nala, and suddenly renamed her Simba doll (which had been "Nala" since we got it in October) Simba. Snap!

operation: cumpleanos

At the end of March, we headed to Florida to celebrate Abuelo's birthday.

Paul's siblings had managed to keep this a secret for months, despite the fact that both Eva and cousin Katie were in on the action.

Since there were five arrivals to coordinate, Abuelo wasn't informed that we were all in town for his birthday until a day or so after we got into town. SURPRISE!

Perhaps the biggest surprise was Paul's mustache.

It's not every day that your Abuelo turns 70. Or that this group is all in one picture.

meetings.

Recently I received a call from Eva's "other" preschool.

Apparently, she had convinced the staff that I was going to pick her up BECAUSE SHE HAD A MEETING, and they were calling to see if this was true.

Have you ever known someone who was full of "book smarts" but had no common sense?

When we discussed the matter after school, Eva expressed frustration that she was now so late for the meeting WITH HER STUFFED ANIMALS that she would have to reschedule.

We then discussed the need to schedule future meetings during non-school hours.

be mine.

Let me explain about Valentine's Day.

First, Pinterest was nearly as bad about V-Day activities as it was for Christmas, so I was feeling some completely self-inflicted crafting pressure.

Second, I refuse to buy Valentines. Not because I dream of sticking it to the man on a day made for love, but because I randomly decided that WE WILL HAVE TRADITIONS, and one of them will be MAKING OUR OWN VALENTINES.

I nearly caved this year when Target unfurled an entire section of Star Wars valentines, but I managed. I do, however, include candy, which is a pro tip to all the other mamas out there. CANDY.

Third, each school has a different policy about how Valentines are delivered. At one school, NO NAMES! At another school, the child MUST write each classmate's name! True to form, Eva wanted to write names for one school and not for the other. Awesome, but for the small fact that it was the exact opposite of what each school had requested.

(sidenote: there were many funny posts on facebook about the torture that is helping your child write out 20 names. and then one person posted about how one of her child is required to write a haiku about each member of the class. and I thinks she was serious. is that reason enough to unfriend someone? I think so.)

I've seen this cute card idea all over the interwebz where you take a picture of your child making a fist, print it out & insert a lollipop into their hand and OHITISSOCUTE.

Here's how we managed to decimate that craft:

First, Eva was NOT ON BOARD until she could use a prop. Luckily, we have magic wands on hand. And yet...

These would be perfect for "A Clockwork Orange" themed Valentines:

At this point, I began to feel a hint of stress.

And then we got this shot. Then, Eva insisted on taping the lollipops to the back of the photo.

Headdesk.

Then, Eva caught me messing with these photos and created this pile of awesome:

Her plan is to use it for her 6th birthday party invitations. We've begun focusing on her birthday, since she is officially 5 1/2 on Saturday.

super parenting

A few weeks ago, we hosted our annual Super Bowl party.

I tried to entice my friends to attend by promising a room full of actuaries, with me hiding in the basement. Obviously, I have no marketing degree.

It was also our first party after THE ALLERGY DIAGNOSIS. Turns out, desserts are full of nuts, and not in some funny/punny way. People just put nuts in dessert.

So now life will be about this:

Luckily, the hardship of creating nut-free desserts for every possible event is one I will bravely shoulder. FOR THE KIDS.

In not-so-super parenting, Charlie developed a real affection for keg cups. And beer cans. And ice. (which he mis-pronounces. I'll leave you to figure that out.) And stacking cups full of beer cans and ice.

the magical properties of snowpants

Apparently, the only way to banish snow for the year is to ask for snowpants for Christmas.

Los Abuelos hunted down snow gear from Florida and sent it our way. Not to be outdone (and because both kids needed new ones), Paul & I gifted LIGHT UP snowboots.

And then we had this:

Never fear. We've had a few snow storms (even a snow day) and the kids had plenty of opportunities to try out the gifts.

Eva was thrilled.

Despite being a native Floridian, she loves snow. I can't figure her out.

Despite demonstrating a willingness to pretty much LIVE outside during nice weather, Charlie was NOT INTO snow.

While I was getting him dressed, he actually screamed "Why, Daddy! Why!"

To which I responded "Even Daddy can't save you from this." Because I am an awesome parent.

Above is but a snapshot of the post-snow fit. Why indeed.